walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
