She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
