from now on my penis is your penis
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize