if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize