I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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