he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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