No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
