She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Duck Duck Cougar?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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