He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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