first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize