Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
BRING THE BAGELS
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
