Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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