he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
