Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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