Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
