Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
