Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
