If i come over, it means nothing
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
