I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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