if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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