Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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