remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
