Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
