Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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