the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
