Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
