If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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