dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
So many bounce houses so little time
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
