I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize