They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
