my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
