I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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