we're blogging at a bar
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
