If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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