she woke up with a sticky ear
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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