is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
