Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
