i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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