I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
