At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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