HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Randomize
