Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize