the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
