careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
