I hope mine doesn't look like that
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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