where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Randomize
