We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize