You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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