well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
