Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I am naked and annoyed.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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