Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
