do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
handjob tips. give me some.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
