3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
