And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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