Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
