dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
