dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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