Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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