we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
