Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
as a side note pls kill me
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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