Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
