Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
